Fourteen months

The time does not seem long, fourteen months and counting. It seems small until you do the math: fourteen months equals 420 days, 10,080 hours; when you do the math the weight of the time becomes evident. Again, it seems long and it is because it depends how you spend fourteen months. In jail, it is long, in the hospital, it is long as a free person it is just another day to occupy.
I can remember the first fourteen months. It was a different time long ago. The future was ahead the times of togetherness even in their difficulty were okay. Life as time moving was constant: the family dynamic grew challenges were dealt with, changes accepted as though it would change. It was magic! The interface of blending personalities dominated all of us those fourteen months. There were the firsts: thanksgiving a gathering of people and the roll eating contest, Christmas spent in the political balance of Grandparents that needed to do for the little ones. The glee on their faces as they tore into the Santa Clause experience and wondered out loud why the cookies were not touched. Then smell of that spruce tree a staple for the house for years to come (until we got the cat). New years day a beginning of another experience that marks the freshness of anticipation and ushers out completeness. A blessing to live to see and to have that opportunity to do better than the last year.
Life does continue it has and will no matter what the issues faced or the problems experienced. We grow, we age, we overcome, and, we fail; for life and living take all we have: it inhales and expands. And in time we run out of life, new days and years, and death snatches our security leaving a whole where we once stood,filled with the replacement and the cycle continues.
Fourteen months the bloom is off the rose the color has faded, and staleness is the brittle result. Fourteen months of the 264 total months of living, struggling, laughing, weeping, mending, and separating. Recovering from injury yet still here by grace undeserved.
I wonder in reflection and rethinking about this time. the truth is the months will continue to grow. Today is fourteen the future will be in years, then decades then no more time. The chasm that started as a tear in the fabric has breached the original cloth, no patch may mend it. There are no words to say or write as communication a stronghold between two has silenced, ceasing from renewal. All that is left is the farewell through intermediaries, the dung heap of all failures to grow.
One would think that the last fourteen would be canceled by the first fourteen, creation a product of one, the way it began. No such luck and no desire to try...fourteen months and counting, the end for a new start, freedom calls and we answer.