Revealed truth

One of the hardest lessons of life is learning the truth. It is hard because not only does truth hurt, but if done correctly it reveals. Most times people (especially me) can not handle truth, unlike the movie "A few good men" we hate truth.We need it but we hate it just the same. A reason might be that truth demands we accept, adjust and admit wrong thinking. A case in point surrounds an attitude I had about a particular church. When I arrived there were deep issues and as a leader I wanted to rally those persons around a common theme to promote healing. The issue was there was not an issue that would create a rallying point, that is until Katrina came and went. I saw an opportunity to move a church in a new direction by doing three things: first, repairing an existing structure, second by implementing programing that would create revenue streams for the future, and lastly to take the residual monies and place them in a long term account for the future. Sounded good to me and I thought to the congregation, but it was not the case; and , unfortunately for me I missed the signal.

Instead of moving forward there was stagnation. There was no buying into the program and I wondered why! Meetings were called and well attended, people voted in favor of the plan, a "gang of seven" was appointed by me to help steward the program, yet nothing happened...NOTHING. In fact a deterioration began to creep into the church. Let me be plain: there was good worship, Bible studies well attended and work was done but it was not with the same enthusiasm as before. Again, I asked myself what happened? I felt alone on this journey and the truth is I was. I had without knowing it committed the gravest of mistakes a Pastor could make: I did not read or understand the signals I was receiving. To put it mildly it was not a good day for the home team. Silently people moved to get another leader (Methodist people especially in my denomination are good at
this). The day came and as fast as I was assigned there another place was my destination. It was a long, hard cruel. and devastating two-year journey.

I was all of the emotions rolled into one. I felt hurt because of the work and sacrifice I had put in. There was
anger at those who did not support me or the effort, and finally there was the question what did I miss? People who know me were comforting, they said the usual words too numerous to recite but take my word they said ALL of them. They meant well and I love them for their concerns but it did not explain or ease my mind, soul and psyche; all which were effected. I hate to say this: there was a time when I was unsure in any of the decisions I made adding to my frustration. As I said earlier it was not a good day for the home team.

However, time heals and reveals all things. The beginning of the healing took place Sunday. I went to worship at the church. When I was there before I was not in a good place, the wounds were still open and I could not bring myself to forgive and move on; that was a dark time of sharing in my life. People that I knew, witnessed their children grow -- I ignored these memories for the pity party I was throwing for me. I left feeling as bad as I did when I went, I wish I had that day back.

But time allowed me a return visit and it was in that space that a change emerged. Instead of gloom I rejoiced because unknown to me God had relieved my stress little by little. The service was like we were family again. The laughter, the joy, the sharing a completely different atmosphere. Then on this day the circle became complete: the truth came out that there was no desire to redo the old building, in fact they were glad it was gone. Had I listened or just asked how much different things could have been.

So this lesson has given me much to ponder over, to first seek the Lord in all things, then listen for this voice and as Robert Frost would say " it has made all the difference". Later